Your Fake Olympic Updates: MICHAEL PHELPS BEING TESTED…
By Ryan • Aug 13th, 2008 • Category: The Big SecretDATELINE – BEIJING, 08/13/08
MICHAEL PHELPS BEING TESTED FOR PERFORMANCE ENHANCING SUBSTANCE
After winning his fifth gold medal in the Beijing games yesterday, once again in world record breaking form, a decision has been made by the IOC to test Michael Phelps for performance enhancing substances. Along with the usual performance enhancing substance and blood doping tests, the IOC will also be testing for uncommon substances like barracuda testosterone, a common elixer in China used to boost virility.
Rival swimmers from France and Australia, holding back tears of humiliation in their sound defeats at the Water Cube, passionately voiced their protests to the IOC. “There is a rumor going around the Olympic Village,” said Team Australia’s swimming head coach Alan Thompson, “that Michael Phelps spent the summer of ‘06 in Brazil undergoing an experimental treatment from a former Nazi scientist. They say his genes were spliced with those of a Great White shark.” Even though this alligation seems strangly similar to the novel White Shark by Peter Benchley, the Phelps camp has neither confirmed nor denied.
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